Kim Gordon’s, Girl in a Band

kim gordon is talented, intelligent, cool, reserved, and wise: a dream big sister. someone who you just know would watch out for you, that you could turn to, lean on, rely on, who would encourage you, nurture you, and give you the necessary space and freedom to explore and become who you are.

that’s the sense i got about her reading her memoir, “girl in a band.” it’s almost the opposite of the emotional pain she experienced with her older, schizophrenic brother, keller. as often can happen, what we don’t receive is what we can go on to offer. as her brother’s disease progressed, his behavior kept her down, kept her words down, so to speak. the environment in which we grow up contributes to shaping who we become. in my healing practice, i’m always interested in people’s stories. reading her book you learn that they both suffered, and that kim had compassion for her brother. particularly poignant for me is kim’s belief, understanding, that if she hadn’t grown up with her brother (with his illness) that she probably would have been more outspoken; she made the connection between being silenced and who she’s become. i’ll add that perhaps her music might not have been as distorted, having a freer, clearer and more direct channel of communication. but then we wouldn’t have gotten to experience her unique and interesting style of music.

this is just one aspect of her book that i wanted to highlight. there’s much, much more. she also talks about the formation of sonic youth and their journey. and gives a thoughtful account of her breakup with thurston. all thoughtfully, beautifully, and wonderfully written.