All The Single Ladies: If A Man Is Interested In You, He Will Pursue You
It’s really simple. It’s the natural order of things. Men are hard-wired to hunt, and nothing will stop them from pursuing a woman they want.
Have you ever seen the “Sex And The City” episode (circa 2000) where Miranda is excited to learn from Carrie’s boyfriend, Berger, that her current seems-great-but-things-aren’t-moving -forward date was “just not into you?” Miranda finds the revelation liberating. She’s astounded at how knowing this could have saved her time, wondering — and therapy. Here’s the comical clip.
Sure, a woman can pursue a man. There are no hard and fast rules. But following this basic biological rule of engagement can help take the guess work out of looking for a partner for both men and women.
Some people believe that the women’s rights movement in the 1960s and 1970s blurred the lines in this basic exchange, by reversing roles. It may be true. Perhaps it’s created confusion.
Beginning with hello. A friendly “Hi, I’m [name]” from the guy along with a simple question or statement is all that’s needed. No pick up lines. Nothing intrusive, keeping it light (definitely no mansplaining). This is easy to do, and it gives a woman space to decide what she thinks.
Because the other side of the rule of engagement equation is that while the man pursues, it’s up to the woman to choose. That’s also the natural order of things. Woman are hard-wired for this, as well.
Probably the greatest source of confusion in exchanges is fear. It goes both ways — both men and women can fear getting rejected. When the purpose of the exchange is to discover whether or not there’s a good match. In the case where there isn’t a good match, both men and women can also fear being the bad person if they’re “just not into” the other person and have to end the connection.
Of course, there are other reasons for confusion — triggering, expectations, life situations, etc — but sticking to the basic rules of engagement can help clarify roles and alleviate confusion, allowing men and women to engage with each other in a relaxed and enjoyable way, if nothing else.
